I Want…

6 Dec

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:16

I’ve spent a lot of time desiring to have a more intimate prayer life over the past few years. One that is actual communion with God throughout the entirety of my day, not just when I need something, or finally have time for Him at the end of the day. I’ve found that, that is much easier done than I made it out to be and ever thought it was, but I also found that it revolved around me. My communication with God was all about my day, what I wanted, what I needed, and lots more me, me, me. Over the past couple months, God has revolutionized my prayer life. I’m still working on staying in constant communication with Him throughout the day, but He has taken my self-centered focus and has put it on Him and other people. I find myself praying for my heart beat to align with God’s so that I am more in tune with the things He is about: Looking for needs I can meet, serving selflessly, and just loving on people. And that’s led me to praying for broken marriages, wounded friendships, and devastated people. I have loved praying for others! But that’s only the beginning of how God has transformed my prayer life. I love that my God is a personable God. I have the freedom to approach Him and share my thoughts and heart and He gladly listens. But I think I had really been missing one of the best parts about prayer, the “BOLDLY” part of coming before His throne. God definitely delights in hearing from me, but I think He delights even more when I pray for things that only He can accomplish and take care of. Things that only He can get the credit for. Things that allow my faith and trust in Him to be acted out. And when I actually believe God will come through, I think He smiles even more.

I’m sick of praying for little things and for myself all the time. “Bless my day, bless my food, and anything else that may be thrown my way.” It’s not necessarily wrong, I’ve just felt like I limit my trust in God, my faith in His promises and put His power in a box when I don’t approach His throne with a sense of boldness. When I open my mouth to speak to Him, but hesitate on believing He’ll really come through. So for the past couple of months, I’ve been praying bold prayers, all the while believing He can move mountains. And it’s an incredible thing to watch Him change the hardest of hearts. The most bitter people. And how humbling it’s been to be reminded that answered prayer, means that the God of the universe listens to someone like me.

I love the LORD because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! Psalm 116:1-2

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